Children Of Bodom has been flying up the ladder in the metal world since 1997 and there seems to be no stopping the momentum of this Espoo, Finland based band of hellions. Albums such as 1999’s Hatebreeder, 2000’s Follow The Reaper and 2003’s Hate Crew Deathroll have become worldwide smash hits and assured COB a place in history alongside other amazing Finnish heavy metal acts such as Stratovarius, Nightwish, Sonata Arctica and Amorphis. 2004 was a great, but busy year for the boys as they toured all over the world and invaded the shores of the good ol’ U.S. of A. at least three times. They were touring buddies in ’04 with a wide array of great metal talent like Evergrey, Dimmu Borgir, Iced Earth and Fear Factory and they laid waste to audiences over here, showing no mercy and converting thousands of long suffering US metal heads to their cause. Last year also saw the exit of longtime guitarist Alex Kuoppala, who left because he thought he was holding the band back. Recruited to replace him was one of COB frontman/guitarist Alexi “Wildchild” Laiho’s guitar heroes, axeslinger Rope Latvala of the Finnish thrash band Stone. Renergized and flying high on success, COB re-entered the studio and recorded four tracks (2 originals and 2 covers) and added some CD-ROM bonuses to release on an EP to wet the appetite of their many fans until the new album is released. This EP is titled Trashed, Lost & Strungout and Bodom fans would be wise to purchase it! Why? Because it’s cheap so it won’t dent your beer budget, and it freakin’ ROCKS!

Kicking off the metal festivities on this EP is the awesome title track. You members of the COB Hate Crew will love this track to death, I am positive! Your brain will be melted by speedy riffs and godly guitar solos, keyboards that are second to none and add just the right amount of melody over the top of the madness, drums that are more thunderous than a herd of mad buffaloes, bass so beefy you might want to add some A-1 sauce and Alexi’s trademark vocals…I mean it’s a f*ckin’ masterpiece!

Following it is a song that many people consider a sell out song that was just written to get them more success in the States: “Knuckleduster”. OK, gather round all you heathens who say this song sucks, and say a prayer before this owl pecks your eyes out and claws your face off with his talons! This song is another winner, which is slightly different, but still maintains that signature COB mark of awesomeness! This track is a mid-paced, heavy as all getout riff monster with the melodic keyboards, heavy drums and bass, and of course, an awesome solo! Alexi knows how to let a great solo whip! I bow at your feet, my master!

OK, let’s see: Solo? Check. Keyboards? Check. Melody? Check. Those are not ingredients for US metal success! Until Alexi starts rapping and chops his hair off and they stop having keyboards and guitar solos, you sell-out shouters will take the owl’s punishment and like it! And if it does get airplay here, so what? US metal heads will rise and finally say “GOOD HEAVY METAL! A MIRACLE! YOU NEVER HEAR THAT ON THE RADIO ANY MORE!"”(unless of course you listen to BeyondEarCandy.com internet radio or Saturday Night Steel on 91.5 WDBK in Blackwood, NJ., Saturday Night from 8-11! (Editor: cheap plug, but it's for a good cause so ok).

Next up are the two cover songs on this EP, an Alice Cooper cover “Bed Of Nails”, which is done very well and it rocks! The next cover may have a few of you rolling your eyes and thinking Bodom have sold out. The cover song I am mentioning is ‘She Is Beautiful”, a cover of a song by Andrew W.K., who don’t really care for to begin with because all of their songs sound the same. However, COB do a fine job making a bad song better, and they probably do a better version than Andrew W.K. does! Two very different groups and COB does a great job paying tribute to them both.
Instrumentally COB have skills which may send many other young melodic death metal outfits back to the woodshed. Alexi Laiho rhythm work simply crushes and his leads are lightning quick and have amazing melody. New guitarist Rope Latvala shows why he was chosen for the job and dishes out some delicious heavy guitar crashing. Keyboardist Janne Warman shows why Japanese metal magazine Burrrn! picked him as the top keyboardist of the year. His keyboard work adds more amazing melodies to the COB sound. Bassist Henkka Blacksmith and drummer Jaska Raatikainen lay the foundation with their thick bass and pounding drum thunder!

Well, the music is over, but the fun has just begun. Pop this CD into your PC and watch the video for the song “Trashed, Lost and Strungout”. This is a solid video which shows the band rocking away in a warehouse. I like videos like that because there is no esoteric BS you need to do hardcore research on to understand, just plain honest footage of the band kicking maximum ass. I hope to see this video on Headbangers Ball soon.

And here, my friends, is the coup de grace…a fictionalized documentary full of fun and crazy antics called “Trashed & Lost in Helsinki”. Alexi and the gang take you on a mini adventure as they try to find their gear and a new place to jam. During their escapade they visit Spinefarm’s record office, buy goofy hats and tons of liquor, visit the famous Lake Bodom and clown around on various snow sculptures and snow slides. Later in the day Alexi takes you and his band mates on a tour of Helsinki while the boys consume even more alcohol and frolic in the snow. The Finns sure know how to party, I will tell you what! I won’t give away the rest of the story, buy the damn EP and watch it yourself! I’m a reviewer, not a party pooper!

OK, I think I have convinced you that Children Of Bodom can supply your needed daily allowance of metal in your diet. So the rest is painfully clear…go out and buy the damn EP and rock out and laugh your head off! For only $6.99 (the price I paid at my local store) it’s a great value. If you are new to Bodom, go out and get their other albums first (I command you to!) and familiarize yourself with the awesomeness that is Children Of Bodom, then go out and buy the damn EP!   JUST BUY THE DAMN EP! God, I love saying that!

(4.5 out of 5)

Reviewer:  Matt "Snowy Owl" Bankes

1/2   (4 1/2 out of 5)
 

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